The Backstage
by Double Vision
Summary: Chapter 5 Up! last chapter! No special editions! Sorrie! Imagine the saiyuki charcter being actors? Imagine what is like backstage? this the first fanfic on saiyuki! Hope you like it.Pls review!
1. Sanzoikkuo backstage

IcyFire: Hi! We, the double vision, decided to combine and write this fanfic.

sillycrazy: Yap! We are actually twins and my seniors in my school give this name.

IcyFire: We really hope that you will like our story!! Pls Review!!

Disclaimer: We don't own the saiyuki characters. 

~*~*~ Sanzo-ikkuo is acting in the latest movie called Gensomaden Saiyuki. Imagine what is like backstage? Hmm… this should be interesting… **SANZO-IKKUO BACKSTAGE**

CHAPTER 1

Scene: In the studio which is decorated into a deserted, desert-like lane, full of sand and more sand…

Characters: Sanzo-ikkuo

Director: Kanzeon Bosatsu

~*~*~

Director: Now, get ready… ACTION!

           It is a usually day for the Sanzo-ikkuo as they drive on a desert in their usual green jeep. They just came from the nearby town, only after causing the inn they are staying to be ¾ destroyed. So the day began in the green jeep.

"Nah, Sanzo…"

"We got no food," said Sanzo right in front of Goku's face.

"Hey, how come you know?" 

"Have you EVER changed your sentence, baka saru?" Gojyo remarked in his Goku-is-a-stupid-monkey tone.

"I'M NOT A SARU!"

"Oh, you are too stupid to notice that?"

"Why you… WATER HORNY RED-ANTENNA COCKROACH!!!"

"You are picking a fight, baka saru?"

"Be delighted to do so!"

"Hey, settle down…" Hakkai said with his irritating smile, though he knew perfectly well that it would be ignored.

Beside him, Sanzo's hands are twitching alarmingly and the bickering is giving him a headache.

"URUSEI!" *Thwack* *Thwack*

"Itai!" Goku and Gojyo rubbed their sore heads, which is hit by a paper fan.

"CUT!" Kanzeon shouted, " Ok! It is a good take! Have a break!" The Sanzo-ikkuo got off the jeep and the jeep transformed into a dragon called Hakuryu. Hakuryu flew to Hakkai and rest on his arms. Goku, as usual, went straight to the buffet table. (Even though it is off-stage, Goku is STILL hungry) While he is eating he notice Lirin playing HIS gameboy and shouted with his mouth full of food, 

"Lurun, geve tha gamabey ta mi lauter."

"Hmmm…" Lirin first, is too engrossed in the game and second, she don't know what Goku is talking about.

Goku stuffed the remaining food in his mouth and walked to Lirin.

"Whhet gane r yoou playing?"

"Hmm…"

Goku swallowed his food and said, " Is there a game called 'Hmm'? How come I don't play it before?" 

~*~*~ Sanzo, Hakkai, Gojyo went to a round table. As usual, Sanzo put on his glasses and read the daily newspaper. Hakkai is stroking Hakuryu and drinking his cup of tea. Gojyo, being the average playboy, is flirting with the make-up artist. It's going to be a good and undisturbed rest for all of them. 

Yeah right.

Suddenly, a cloud of smoke covered their faces. Goku is chasing Lirin, cursing her for not letting he play HIS gameboy. They run in circle, round and round the table.

"My, My…" Hakkai exclaimed, sipping his tea.

Behind the newspaper, Sanzo's forehead throbbed. The noise is giving him a headache, a BIG headache. Without waiting, he reach out and…

*Thwack* *Thwack*

"Itai!" shouted Goku and Lirin.

Sanzo, satisfied with what he had done, froze when he heard a menacing voice,

"SANZO!"

Turning his head, he realized it is Kougaiji.

"What have you done to my sis?"

"Ch. Nothing." Sanzo continued to read his newspaper

 "SANZO…"

"What you had done is GREAT!"

"Nani?" Sanzo is shocked. Is Kougaiji praising him?????

Kougaiji then continued on about how Lirin is so playful and naughty and even asked Sanzo to teach him how to make a paper fan like his. 

Yanoe then met up with Hakkai.

"Sorry for the trouble caused, Hakkai-sama" Yanoe said in her ever so polite voice. "Kougaiji-sama has been lately coming up with a plan to hmm…punish Lirin-sama, that's why…"

"That's alright, I sure Sanzo wouldn't mind at all, Yanoe-sama."

They then sat down and enjoy their tea despite the noisy background.

~*~*~

Gojyo was flirting with the make-up artist. He was saying all of the 'good' things about himself.

"You see, I am a very loyalty to my girlfriend and never flirt. I am very loving too! I respect everyone's right, you know… I am also…" Gojyo continued on, making the artist giggled.

Dokugakuji came, feeling very bored. He saw what his younger brother is doing and has an evil plan.

"As I was saying, I am very loyalty, believe me, I am." Gojyo said when a heavy arm landed on his shoulders.

"Let me tell you, he flirt woman like he smoke cigarette, one after another. I think I can still remember some. It is Amy, no, maybe Mary, no, no, it is Joyce. See, so many women that I couldn't remember their names. All that talking is just one of his dirty trick to attract pretty girls. I know him too well." Dokugakuji said.

The artist angrily walked off, leaving a lonely Gojyo staring fiercely in Dokugakuji's face.

" Why you…"

" What! I am telling the truth, the ONLY truth." Dokugakuji said trying very hard to control his laughter, but couldn't and now is laughing his head off.

"How dare you do that! I'm going to kill you!"

Dokugakuji stopped his laughing and muttered, " Ok!" But when he looked up at his brother's face, he again burst into laughter.

Just as Gojyo wanted to hit his elder brother in his face and Sanzo was about to teach Kougaiji how to make the fan, Kanzeon, the director shouted,

"KOUGAIJI AND GANG! Prepared for action!!!"

Kougaiji-ikkuo looked at the direction the shout came from and sighed. 

It's going to be a long day, they thought. 

~*~*~  

"Sanzo, isn't here too quiet?"

A constant beep sounded beside Sanzo, " That is because the stupid monkey is playing his gameboy and that cockroach is chasing the woman."

"Hai, now we can finally rest…"

" Hmmm…"

                             **To be continued…**

IcyFire: Kougaiji don't know how to make paper fan???

sillycrazy: I sure he failed his art!

*popped Lirin* Now then you know how bad his art and craft is? He make a bird with a horn on his head, a rabbit with no tail…

IcyFire: Ok, we know. *pushed Lirin out of the picture* so, why did Kougaiji-ikkuo said  It's going to be a long day, they thought. ?

Together, we both look at each other and shrugged, " You will learn more in the later chapters!"

P.S: Sorrie for saying Kougaiji is bad in art. Hope Kougaiji fans don't mind! ^_^  


	2. Kanzeon strictness: Part 1

sillycrazy: Hello! Now in this chapter, we will let you know how exact strict is Kanzeon, the director.

IcyFire: Yeah, I pity those saiyuki characters! I love them, you know!

sillycrazy: Me too! Anyway let get on to the story! Pls Review, Ok!

KANZEON STRICTNESS: Part 1 KOUGAIJI'S ACTING 

CHAPTER 2

Scene: 1. In Kougaiji's castle

          2. In front of the statue of Kougaiji's mum.

Characters: Kougaiji-ikkuo

Director: Kanzeon

~*~*~

Director: Now everyone in place…ACTION!

Take 1 

Lirin is running. Yanoe soon came running, panting.

"Lirin-sama! Come back! Or else Kougaiji-sama will scold you!"

Lirin continued running, ignoring Yaone's words. Yaone sighed and continued running. Just then, she ran past Dokugakuji. 

"Dokugakuji-sama, help me find Lirin-sama!"

"(sigh) OK, since I got nothing to do and Kougaiji is visiting his mum."

"Hmm… is Kougaiji … ok?" Yaone said with a worried frown.

"Should be. Come, let find Lirin! Or else Kougaiji will be worried again."

In front of the statue 

Kougaiji stood in front of the statue, the statue of his mother. His expression changed, no more the evil Kougaiji but a guilty, sad one. He looked up his mother and said,

"Mother, I'm so sorry…"

**"CUT!"**

Kanzeon spoke urgently," Kougaiji act with more emotions! AGAIN!"

****

**Take 2 **_(in front of the statue)_

Kougaiji stood in front of the statue, the statue of his mother. His expression changed, no more the evil Kougaiji but a guilty, sad one. He looked up his mother and said,

"Mother, I'm…"

**"CUT!"**

"What is it???"

" The 'feel' is not there!!! AGAIN!"

Kougaiji tolerated and act one more time… well many, many time.

****

Take 3 

****

Take 4 

****

**Take 5**

Take 20 

Kougaiji stood in front of the statue, the statue of his mother. His expression changed, no more the evil Kougaiji but a guilty, sad one. He looked up his mother and said,

"Mother…"

**"CUT!"**

"How many time must I tell you! The 'feel' is not there! The 'feel'!! AGAIN!"

Kougaiji could take this anymore, he can't stand people ordering him! He then began chanting. Dokugakuji, Yaone, Lirin back away from the stage, leaving a confused Kanzeon.

"What are you doi…"

Kougaiji threw a fireball at Kanzeon. She managed to block but not her hair.

Yes, her hair is on fire.

"Ahhhh! My hair, my hair!" Kanzeon ran around like a screaming chicken, asking for help.

I don't know whether this is a good idea or not but anyway an assistant threw a pail of water over her head. He managed to extinguish the fire but drenching Kanzeon from head to toes.

Looking just like a mudskipper.

Kanzeon stood very still, hair covered her hair. A silence hangs in the air. Then she raised her head, eyes burning with flames,

**"KOUGAIJI . YOU . ARE . GOING . TO . GET . IT .  FROM . ME !!!" **Kanzeon roared and stormed back to her room.

~*~*~

Goku and Gojyo are making a din in the backstage as usual. Gojyo has failed to persuade the make-up artist and decided to disturb Goku. Sanzo refuses to use the paper fan as he knew is a waste of energy. So he comes up with a idea and that is to stuff his ear with cotton wools.

_These are good stuffs! How come I never thought of this!_

The cotton wools blocked out all the noise in the backstage. With the newspaper in front of his face, he did not notice a fireball is flying at him. Even though he sense it, it will be too late.

**BANG**

The studio shook slightly on this impact. There is a moment of silence as everyone wonders what's going on. Then, a roar of laughter exploded in the backstage. That is, of course, come from Goku and Gojyo as they laugh at the hilarious sight of Sanzo's face. Hakkai struggled to control his laugh.

Sanzo's face is black in colour, only his violent-coloured eyes could be seen. His blond hair has become crisp, with wisps of smoke rising.    

A vein twitched vigorously in his forehead, his eyes filled with anger. Goku and Gojyo, obviously, did not notice that, continued laughing.

"STOP LAUGHING!!!" **BLAM BLAM**

**"KOUGAIJI!!!!!!!!!"  **_Sound effect: 'Jaws'_

**To be continued….**

IcyFire: It is up to you to imagine what Sanzo do to Kougaiji. But they did not die! Main characters cannot die and we learn that in Literature. ^_^

sillycrazy: Oh, they managed to complete this scene too.

IcyFire:  After how many times? 

sillycrazy: Beat me. They dun want to tell.

IcyFire: Hmm…*evil grin* you know what I'm thinking, B1?

sillycrazy: Err… no.

IcyFire: (fall back in anime style) Ah, forget it! We just dun have the mind connection thinge. (sigh) Pls review, ok! If it is not funny enough, err… we will try to make it funnier! ^_^  ^_^__

****


	3. Kanzeon strictness: Part 2

IcyFire: (sigh) Looks like nobody like our fanfic! So depressing!

sillycrazy: What to do? Just have to continue writing!

IcyFire: Pls review! Arigato! And I would thank the reviews we received, Thank you so much!! 

sillycrazy: So on to the story!

KANZEON STRICTNESS: Part 2 SANZO-IKKUO FIGHTING KOUGAIJI-IKKUO 

CHAPTER 3

Scene: In a forest

Characters: Sanzo-ikkuo and Kougaiji-ikkuo

Director: Kanzeon Bosatsu

~*~*~

In the deeply dense forest, Sanzo-ikkuo was standing at attack positions. The team they are fighting is obviously Kougaiji-ikkuo. The leaders stared at each other, glaring. A silence, a heavy silence hung in the air, as the two groups get ready to fight. A distant owl hoot and the battle begin.

Goku called out his Nyoibou and Gojyo, his Shakujou. Hakkai prepared his ki ball and Sanzo, his gun and meat buns?

Goku and Kougaiji charged at each other, fighting as if it is their last battle. Gojyo and Dokugakuji fight and passed wry comments on their fighting skills. Hakkai and Yaone exchange polite greetings before they fight. And Sanzo…well he is giving Lirin meat buns.

All goes well, the cameraman zoom in and out professionally, only until slipped and fell.

**"CUT!" **Kanzeon screamed, " Goku! Do your stunts properly!"

"Gomenasai!" Goku apologized.

So they started all over again. All went well, Goku did his stunts properly. The camera then zoomed to Gojyo and Dokugakuji.

"Oh no! Your skills have become worse!" Dokugakuji reminded Gojyo.

" No! I'm always the better one!"

"Oh, yeah!" Dokugakuji replied and attacked Gojyo.

**"CUT!"**

" Doku! Hit with force! It's like you are a weakling!"

Anger raise in Dokugakuji but managed to keep his cool as he want to finish this scene.

Ok! They started all again. All went perfectly. Goku did his stunts properly and Dokugakuji hit Gojyo harder. (Poor thing!)

And now the camera zoomed to Sanzo and Lirin. Sanzo is giving Lirin meat buns and Lirin is eating happily.

Nothing wrong, right?

Wrong!

**"CUT!"** Kanzeon shouted, " Sanzo, looked more bored! Lirin, eat the meat buns with more enthusiasm like you never eaten food for ages. Your acting looks as if you have eaten a lot!"

Lirin, indeed, ate a lot. Before the camera roll in to Lirin and Baldie Sanzo, she must eat 12 meat buns as stated in the script. So 3 NG, including this one, she had eaten 36 meat buns! It is enough for a girl… well maybe not enough for Goku!

So they started over again. *yawn* Everything went well until…

Hakkai spoke too soft… (Actually it is Kanzeon that cannot hear him, that's why)    

Kougaiji aimed wrongly… (He aim the fire ball too close to Kanzeon, she got scared due to the previous incident)

Gojyo stumbled slightly… (Kanzeon has keen eyes)

Yaone not acting evil enough… (Kanzeon again)

Anyway, this scene is completed, HOWEVER…

v Kougaiji and Hakkai has to rest for a few days as they used too much of their whatever energy. (Is it qi or something?)****

v Goku, Yaone, Dokugakuji have ache all over their bodies due to over-fighting.****

v Gojyo is in a terrible state, fractured arm, slashes on his arms and ache all over his body.****

v  Lirin is SCARED of meat buns. She also has diarrhoea and has in hospital for a week.****

v Sanzo… well nothing much, just cursing Kanzeon for he had to clean the studio, as he is only injure-free person around.****

So this is the 'end' of the sequence of 'Kanzeon strictness'.

To be continued… IcyFire: Why did we write, "this is the 'end' of the sequence of 'Kanzeon strictness'"? 

*looked at each other*

Together, we said: Because there is NEVER a end to Kanzeon strictness!!

Saiyuki characters: Shhhhh! Don't say it so loud!

Gojyo: Her lectures are much worse than his strictness in acting! So lower down your volume!

Kanzeon: Hey, where did all of my actors go? COME BACK AND ACT THE NEXT SCENE!!!

Saiyuki characters: *sweat-dropped* 

Ok this is rather lame! We know but pls review! We said this twice did we? So send two reviews ok! 


	4. Homura's party return

IcyFire: Ahhhhhh! *wiping tears* so many people review our story! 

Sillycrazy: Thanks a lot, you all are so NICE!!!!

IcyFire: Ok, now our story CAN accept anonymous review! So no excuse for not reviewing! ^_^

Sillycrazy: And we would like to thank…. 

**Hanae da Firefly-** for your support and correcting our spelling mistakes! Err… I just check our e-mail that why I did not know that I made spelling mistakes! So Sorrie!! And we dun really understand what you are writing becoz we are clueless about this fanfiction thing, so pls tell us clearly! ^_^  

IcyFire: Now, let start the story…Oh yes, we realize that there are a lot of mistakes in our spelling, especially the names! So Sorrie about that, we will try and correct them!

~*~*~

Half of the movie, Gensomaden Saiyuki, is completed and now it's the part where Homura's party appeared. Homura's party has been away to Europe and has recently come back. What could have happened when they came back? Let see…

HOMURA'S PARTY RETURN CHAPTER 4 

          It's break time. Sanzo-ikkou and Kougaiji-ikkou are resting. Some are reading (Sanzo), some eating and playing (Goku & Lirin) and some flirting (Gojyo). Kanzeon is, however, making preparation for the next scene.

**"HELLO!!!!"**

Everyone turned their heads towards the door and saw Homura and his gang in SUITS???

"Hello, everyone!" Homura said in a heavy American tone.

No Response.

"I got presents for all of you!"  

"Now you are speaking!" Gojyo looked up and so does the rest except for Sanzo. Goku and Lirin run towards Homura, begging for their presents. 

"Ok, here for you! My sweet Goku!" Homura then handed a teddy bear to him.

"Can this be eaten?' Without taking an answer, he stuffed the bear into his mouth.

"Where's mine?" Lirin asked.

Yaone came and stopped Lirin, " Wait for your turn, Lirin-sama."

"I will give you two later!" Homura then winked at Yaone and Lirin.

Yaone blushes while Lirin shrugged and run off to Goku. However, at a corner, jealously 'strike' on two men. (You should know whom!) 

For Hakkai, a green tie, for Gojyo, a series of the 'Sexy Girls' magazines and for Sanzo…

"Sanzo, this is for you."

"Hmm…" Sanzo said without looked up from his newspaper, "What is it?"

"Look for yourself!"

Sanzo reluctantly looked up and his eyes widen. It's the latest Smith and Wesson and, way better than his old one.

"Hmm… I need to go to the gents." Sanzo said after accepting the gift. However, on the way to the toilet, Sanzo was admiring the gun like a fan seeing his idol.

And go crazy over it in the toilet.

Now, for Kougaiji, a cool, leather jacket and Dokugakuji got a pair of sunglasses. So what do the girls have?

"Yanoe, Lirin, since you two are the sweetest girls I ever known, I give you these."

They opened up the boxes and grasped. Goku rushed over to see what was it.

 (His teddy bear got 'eaten' into pieces. Pity the bear)

"Wow! Hakkai, it is so shining." Goku exclaimed

"Actually, it is a 3-carat diamond necklace." Homura pointed out.

Everyone jaws dropped. _Man, Homura is rich!!!!!_

Yaone wanted to refuse such expensive gift but Lirin stopped her, well… actually forcing her.

If you don't accept this gift, the I will…" *whisper in her ear*

(grasp) " Ok! Ok! I take it, I take it!" Yaone said, terrified by Lirin's words.

So everyone got their gifts and this story is going to end happily!

DEAD WRONG.

We forget about Kanzeon.

"Ah, Homura! You have come back!" Kanzeon walked from the stage to Homura.

"Hi, Kanzeon! Err… this is for you! Hope… you like it!"

"Oh, Homura! You better get rid of that accent before the act. Oh yes, let me open this…" Kanzeon opened the box and then… 

Silence.

Sanzo-ikkou and Kougaiji-ikkou backed away immediately. 

"WHAT IS THIS?" Kanzeon waved the necklace, "YOU GIVE A CHEAP, INEXPESIVE NECKLACE WHILE YOU GIVE THEM DIAMOND NECKLACES!!!!"

" Gomen! I spent too much monkey on those necklaces and besides…" Homura hurriedly added a sentence, which agitated Kanzeon even more.

"That necklace suits you."

"WHAT!"

~*~*~

Zenon: Homura is in big trouble, right?

Shien: Yeah…

Homura: Zenon, Shien! Help me!!

"HOMURA!!!"

Homura: Ahhhh! *run away*

*sweat-dropped* 

(in the background)

*Kanzeon strangled Homura* *Homura drying but managed to take out his sword* *Kanzeon fled at the sight of his weapon*

To be continued… 

sillycrazy: why did Yaone blush earlier when Homura winked at her? 

IcyFire: That's becoz Homura is cute!!!

Sillycrazy: Ok, what did Lirin whisper into Yaone's ear?

IcyFire: Maybe, something about who she like or something?

*popped Lirin* No, it is about the picture in her wallet…

*popped Yaone* It's nothing *covered Lirin's mouth and hurried away*

IcyFire & sillycrazy: Oh my god! That picture must be the person she likes!!!! Wait Yaone!!! Tell us!! Our fans want to know!!! 

*sillycrazy run after Yaone and Lirin*

IcyFire: Ok, do you why Homura give Kanzeon such a cheap necklace…*****in a low voice* That's becoz she is not in his list of the 'sweetest girls he ever known'!! 

~Flashback~ 

"Yanoe, Lirin, since you two are the sweetest girls I ever known, I give you these."

**~**End of flashback~

Get it? Hahahaha!!! 

P.S: Pls review! Thanks a lot! Hope you like it even though it is quite lame!


	5. The Final?

IcyFire: Ahhhhhhhh! *crying*

Sillycrazy: Yes, this is worth crying. *sniff* 

Readers: What's the matter?

IcyFire: This is the *****sniff* last one *sniff*…well not really…we still have special edition 1,2,3… 

Sillycrazy: Oh yes! We totally forgot about that! So pls review when we write about the special editions!

IcyFire: *wiping my tears* So now to the story! (The comments here are not to discriminate anyone or any countries!)

          The movie, Gensomaden Saiyuki is **COMPLETED**! Everyone rejoice about the fact they do not have to act anymore and that they will soon have a lot of MONEY! That is because Gensomaden Saiyuki has become one of the top ten most popular anime series!

Kanzeon is so happy about it that she decided to treat the actors and actresses to…

**TOKYO**…

Tower…

Which is…

A 10-min drive from the studio…

**THE FINAL????**

CHAPTER 5

(In the studio, after the trip)

Goku: That Kanzeon, SHE DID NOT GIVE ME ENOUGH FOOD DURING THE WHOLE TRIP!!!!!

Gojyo: And bring us to such a no-taste place! No sexy girls, all we see is lights and more lights!

Hakkai: Don't be so bad! But I must say that the wine there is too bland like water.

Sanzo: Ch! That place DO NOT allows smoking!

Kougaiji: And that place has not enough shops to buy the things that we want!

Doku: I totally agree with you, Kougaiji.

Yaone: The place is also so high up! I scared Lirin-sama will jump off the tower.

Kanzeon: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING??? I pay for the bus fares, the entrance fees, and the food you buy…

Hakkai: Hmm…let me sort this out. Sanzo paid for all the food, which is mostly belonged to Goku. Kougaiji and Doku paid for what they bought. The bus fares is free as the bus driver is a fan of our movie. And there are no entrance fees as we are the first 100 customers to arrive there.

Gojyo: Oh, that's why you asked us to wake up at 6.00a.m! It is on offer!

Kanzeon: Err… 

Kougaiji: **We can't stand this!!! ***Kougaiji-ikkou stood up, drawing their weapons*

Sanzo: **We, too, OLD HAG! ***Sanzo-ikkou, also drawing their weapons*

Kanzeon: Wait…I can explain…

Sanzo: FAT CHANCE!!!

Kougaiji: Charge!!!!

Kanzeon: No!!!! *Kanzeon run away* *Sanzo-ikkou and Kougaiji-ikkou chasing after her*

~*~*~

Homura: I'm glad that I did not join in that fight.

Shien & Zenon: *nodding their heads* 

Homura: (sigh) Kanzeon is in a total wreck. They bashed her up and Kanzeon's face has become as swollen as a tomato. She has to stay in bed for about week. And guess what is around her bed?

Zenon: Face cream, lotion, blah, blah, blah…

Shien: Then what happened to Sanzo-ikkou & Kougaiji-ikkou?

Homura: Well…

          …Sanzo-ikkou and Kougaiji-ikkou are enjoying themselves on a bright and sunny beach. Since Kanzeon cannot go to the holiday that she had planned a week ago, they decided to take over her place and flew to Hawaii…not to mention that their expenditures are charged on Kanzeon's account…  

The End 

IcyFire: (sigh) I know this story is lame and boring and not funny…

Sillycrazy: Don't be so negative maybe our readers like them!

IcyFire: No, they wouldn't like it…

Sillycrazy: *slap across* 

IcyFire: *unconscious* Whoa! Birds and more birds…

Sillycrazy: Don't bother about her! She has gone cuckoo… Pls review! Thank a lot for the reviews! And remember to read our second fanfic, 'The apartment'!! Don't forgot about this one too!!

IcyFire: Ah! Pretty birds, come here… 


End file.
